I Cannot Do This Alone

There is much to harvest and Lord, I pray for more laborers.

With God nothing is impossible; however, I believe God also intends that we work together as a team. I am realizing that I cannot do this alone. I need to delegate my work to those more capable than I.

My work performance has been suffering big time - for the past 8 months! This meant I really could not afford to take on the responsibility of leading Everett 40 Days for Life. But I did; and I cannot drop the ball on Day 28. I have dropped the ball a few times prior and during the past few weeks; and I think a few people noticed; but they graciously picked up the ball without complaining.

For example, shortly before the Kick-off event, I was to send out a reminder email to everyone; and I was silent. Since Wednesday or so Savanna has been calling me and eventually she wrote a reminder email to everyone with a final approval by me. She was so gracious about it and I am very grateful to this day.

And Ed Mohs have been checking the emails and responding to most of them, unless they were addressed to me; adding any new sign-ups to our address book, sending out welcome emails. In addition, he ordered supplies for us.

As Brad observed, Ed has helped me far more during Spring Campaign than how much I was able to help him during Fall Campaigns.

I cannot do this alone.

Elaina Scougale inspired us so much! I am willing to buy her (and anyone else who would inspire me...but this means I'll have to work hard to make some money...) lunch, dinner... just to spend time talking with her. But I had to cut her short a few times, because my mind was crowded with anxiety over insufficiently filled vigil times. I think ideally we need at least 5 or 6 people at any given hour, especially during the PP operating hours. Sometimes, we can use 3 or 4 people to sidewalk counsel several incoming cars; meanwhile, we can use prayer support.

We also are in desperate need of responsible and committed shift leaders who would take up a half/full day. A shift leader would be responsible for:
1) assuring that the shift is filled, if necessary, ready to fill in the gap
2) grow the shift so at any given hour there are 5-6 prayer volunteers
3) assure that supply box is in place

Hennie Slotemaker also inspired me to take my commitment to lead Everett 40 Days for Life Campaign seriously by keeping our commitment to vigil 8 am to 8 pm for 40 days. Because there was no one signed up on our first Sunday (Day 5), she filled in more than 5 hours. Della O'Halloran also filled in more than 4 hours the same day. Both Hennie and Della are very courageous and bold leaders. They didn't even complain! They both smiled! :)

Hennie is also very creative with her signs.

I was inspired and liberated from any fear to put in extra hours where necessary. However, my general balance of life's duties suffered. Pretty soon I wasn't getting dishes done in time, my laundry wasn't being folded, even my bed wasn't made some mornings...and my pack rat tendency only added to the chaos in my living room.

Someone reminded me that when her house becomes disorderly, it's usually a sign to check her prayer life. Well, it also means to just begin to spend more time with duties.

In addition, I have my work responsibility. I have to make certain number of phone calls daily to families who still haven't made pre-arrangements at Catholic Cemetery; and set aside a time to meet with families, etc. So far Tuesdays, Wednesdays and Thursdays have been the time when I could focus on work. But it's still work and painful; and I have been procrastinating. I keep finding more things to do with 40 Days for Life; or housework, etc.

The challenges of balancing act! Dear God, please help me to be better disciplined!

With less than two weeks left in the campaign, I was feeling rather tired earlier yesterday. I knew that I wanted to step up during this campaign, willing to arrive at the vigil every day. However, I missed at least a couple of days, including last Monday, when it was pouring big time! It looks like we had vigil from 9 am to 6:25 pm or so. But then I had to make up on Wednesday; well I didn't have to but I wanted to - perhaps to make up for my failure to show up on Monday. Wednesday was very cold & rainy as well. My pants were quite wet and I called it a day after I got home.

That has been my story for the most part: go out to vigil for more than a couple of hours and I get very tired; and quite dysfunctional the rest of the day; barely getting up again to fill in another empty timeslot later in the evening - usually from 5 pm to 8 pm. It's still a wonder for me how I cannot fulfill my work duties; yet I pressed on for the vigil commitments for the most part.

But then I am thinking that I cannot do this alone. Yesterday, I was standing from 12:15 pm to 4:15 pm. When I arrived at 12:15 pm, there was no trace of any prayer volunteer. I've been meaning to arrive at least 15 minutes prior to my vigil time; but when? Perhaps next time. I wasn't able to reach out to many people. At some point, an Asian woman parked right behind my car, next to the pole where most of our prayer volunteers adhere to; and where our supply box is usually located. I wanted to approach her; so I walked towards her. Meanwhile, another car pulled into PP parking lot.

Then something very ironic happened. The woman just got out of the recently parked car with California license plate; and suddenly yelled at me, "Go away you bigot!" Well, I didn't know exactly what bigot meant. I just looked it up: "a person who is utterly intolerant of any differing creed, belief, or opinion."

If they call me bigot because I am intolerant of killing of innocent human being; then I don't mind being called a bigot. But I wonder who was really a bigot at that moment. She hasn't even verified what my belief was and she was very rude and intolerant of my presence there - just because I had differing creed, belief, or opinion from her. Hmmm....

She was clearly very angry. I wonder why she was so angry.

In any case, I remember filling slightly divided when she drove into PP parking lot: should I approach her first or the Asian lady? - because the Asian lady seemed preoccupied with some documents in her trunk. This is when another sidewalk counselor would have been helpful.

But I was all alone.

It was drizzling; and it seemed more important for me to hold a huge umbrella than to hold a sign.

When I finally had a chance to speak with the Asian lady, I learned that she had to go to post office first; before she could answer my questions about what may bring her to PP. I gave her direction to the Post Office so she walked. Sometime later, she came back. By then a few more prayer volunteers arrived for 1 pm vigil. I found out that she was from mainland China; has a child and has an appointment the next day (don't know if at PP or not) to put "tube" for contraceptive purposes because she will be going to nursing school and she will be very busy, unable to have more children for a while.

I asked her, "as a nurse, wouldn't you be concerned about health of your patients, including yourself? Then why would you want to use unnatural means, which may have side-effects and even causing abortion?" I was able to give her our "Contraception: Abortion in Disguise" pamphlet and Human Life Alliance newspaper insert (which is also our favorite because of its comprehensiveness) with Natural Family Planning link

I heard that it took many decades before the Cancer societies began admitting that cigarettes cause lung cancer. How many more decades will the Cancer societies (i.e. American Cancer Society, Susan G. Komen) begin to admit the ABC (abortion-breast cancer) link?

Truth will set us free! And how long before we begin to accept and embrace truth?

We need to be out there at the vigil - to help ourselves and others to see the Truth - that abortion is wrong and so many people are misled! But I cannot do this alone. I need everyone's help! The problem has gotten so bad!!! We need the entire community. It is urgent!

As 2Chronicles 7:14 advises us, all of us called Christians need to humble ourselves and turn away from our wicked ways to seek God's face and healing of our land. Amen.